Bye Winter?

I really hope so, yes i will soon complain about the grease and the condensation but fuck it at least i won't be freezing my nuts off! I sat in the car today with the windows up and just baked like a crisp. God it was nice! I did some Mayfair wall descaling the other day. The big flake on the start on Masterclass came off with virtually no effort. I could have done it with my hands. Very scary to think of all the people who have hung off it over the years. It came off in one piece and is now wedged in the ground. I don't think it will affect the route much, there's quite a good foothold there now: probably 20 inches by 20

I also levered the big flake left of Contusion off in the name of crag safety. To repay me if someone could upgrade Masterplan to 8b+ i'd be much obliged. I haven't been on Walking Mussel for a week. I'm at the stage where i could get the undercut well next go and top out or i could fall off for another ten days. It's hard to improve on it really, improving means doing it. But then i might still fall off the dreaded crack! I'm in the midst of some viral affliction so have been taking it easy. I did a few routes at Penmaenhead yesterday, the sun really was too good to resist. I climbed on Expresseway Wall which i hadn't been back to since we developed it. I did my old kings hardest FA, The Quarrywomen (6c). I was quite impressed, good quality and a good lead from Mikey. It really is a little gem that crag. It is good stone and rock and there's loads to go at. Easy sport climbing in Wales pisses all over the Peak and Yorkshire for quality from what i've seen. Today i met up with Ben Bransby who was keen to check out Dulas. I was only 5 minutes late but the impatient git was doing some dodgy self belay manouvres up Ralarwdins:

He told me he'd done Bat Route last week so obviously a man on form. I replaced the hanger that some cunt had nicked of Tony Stud and we headed up to the main cave. The place was a shit tip, some dickhead youths had been having a Carlsberg and Nik Nak orgy. Messy little twats. I bagged it up and took it when we left. Ben was keen for Last Crusade, he got most the way across the roof on the flash but was stopped by the sequency finish. I set off up Tony's atmospheric caving experience, Lord Nibbler. This route climbs up the gulley right of Last Crusade goes past that routes belay and up the wall to the finish of Zoidberg. Despite its modest grade i was a bit gripped as much of it involved back and footing between the two walls. Anyway it was great, a great experience for a 6b. People should do it more. I'm still glad i didn't finish Crusade up there though. Ben fell off the end on his next two goes. Despite my illness i got on my link up project. I'd been quite disheartened walking away from it last time. Every move on the new section felt nails! The beauty of these roofs though is that there is nearly always some hidden trickery. You've just got to put the time in and suss it out. I made good progress this time and at the end i was in the position where i could basically do all the hand moves but one but with a few feet manouvres still to sort out. There's two moves where my feet are so spanned after doing a big move left i can't release them without swinging off. I think/hope that i'll be able to sort this with some of my Parisellas accessories. The new section is only 7 hand moves but it's probably 8a condensed into 7 moves at a guess? The route is still a pipedream at the moment but it doesn't seem quite as far fetched after today. Inspiring and daunting in equal measure but so fuckin meaty you just gotta keep going. Ben got The Last Crusade on his 4th redpoint in the end. I think on his last go he could start to hear Pete Robins taunts in his head so realised he had to pull it out. Soon all the holds will be dry as will pigeons and t shirt in bed will be no more! yeee The longest clipstick at Waterfall:

Triple Crown Quest

The Mayfair Wall triple crown consists of the three grade 8 routes: Masterplan, Masterclass and Oyster. Mayfair is a classic Welsh wall stooped in history with some of the best sport routes in the region. The triple crown is a good challenge as all three routes are completely different in style. Oyster is a short burly crack put up by Jerry Moffatt is 1983 and graded E4 6b!!! It gets 8a now, surely one of the biggest sandbags ever! I had a quick go a month ago and couldn't do the original shoulder press, such a hard move. I managed to work another sequence though so it should go. Masterclass is another Moffatt route from 1983 and was 7c+ for years. It used to get a fair few ascents back in the day when people used to train on brick edges. These days it doesn't get much attention is generally regarded as being nails. The start is nasty and sharp and the crux is unlikely and technical. It is quite cool in that it makes you do moves that seem inprobable. I guess it's a bit like slate in that respect. I've always got shutdown on it before but can do the moves now. At the start of the climb there is a big hollow flake which would likely slice through your rope if it came off on lead. I'm going to pull it off, i don't think it will affect the climb that much and i don't care as it definitely has the potential to kill someone! Masterplan is the newbie of the trio, it was put up by a handsome visionary in 2009. It definitely has the nicest climbing of the trio and is more modern/bouldery (and hence more popular than the other two). Difficulty wise there is not much between Masterplan and Masterclass (probably the difference between hard 8a and soft 8a+). As far as i know only Pete Robins and Neil Dyer have done all three. I spent my 30th birthday belaying Robins and my route The Hole Truth at Dyserth. I was intrigued to see how he'd find it as i'd never seen anyone else on it. I had worried that someone might be able to handjam up the hole and sure enough Pete did. It was hard getting into the jam though and he couldn't release it when he got to the lip. He spent ages messing about with it and causing himself pain. For me the really hard bit was getting into the Hole but Pete was steady on this and could go straight into the good part (Jordan said he could do this too). I guess thats the difference between 8b bouldering strength and 7c strength. Luckily for me he found the end tricky though and found the toehook to be quite low percentage. He was too boxed by the time he had it worked so will have to go back. It must be my hardest FA as he's done all the others 2nd go. Jordan turned up after we'd left and bagged the 2nd ascent on his second session, nice one la. I was down LPT yesterday thinking to myself what a strange pastime redpointing is. You go to the same place time after time, and just do exactly the same thing then go home and come back and do it again. Climbing up big cliffs seems to make sense but redpointing seems like a strange way to spend your life. Big up to Tommy who ended his seige on Pas de Deux!

Awesome Mawsome

Awesome Inspector Mawson took a break from trying Rainshadow on Thursday and visited LPT to have a whirl on Walking Mussel. The Inspector is a very good climber. He's always been a stamina jock but he has got significant power gains from his training over winter. I thought he'd have a good chance of getting it in a session. It's not a very complicated route so if you're going well you've got every chance of doing it quickly. Anyway to cut a short story short he pissed it making perhaps the quickest ascent. The fact that he found the bottom bulge the hardest indicates how easy he found the crux. He said it was a bit similar to the crux of Rainshadow but that is font 7c+ as opposed to 7b+ on WM. It came as no surprise to me that he thought it was a gift for 8b+. It could be 8b though i would have thought one of the other guys would have downgraded it. I went back down to LPT yesterday after an enforced 9 day break from it. It definitely feels like a breach of human rights having to work when the tide is out. I was paranoid about feeling worse on it after the loss of momentum. I've not been doing any hardcore climbing or training in the meantime either. It was still too cold but i suspect folk are tired of me complaining about this so i'll pipe down. I had 4/5 redpoints and on the last one made the breakthrough and grabbed the undercut. I didn't quite wiggle into it well enough and fell off the match but i was happy. I'm having a bit of a different experience on this route. Normally after this many days on something this seeds of stress and frustration start to sprout. I feel none of this though, i just enjoy every go and feel dead relaxed. I think it's partly to do with the nature of the route and partly because my redpointing head feels good this year. I'm sure this will change if i fall off the crack for ten days though. Emma and Jim were trying Youthanasia. I've been going to LPT since the 90s and literally apart from Pete on Wild Youth and i think Keith Sharples once i've never seen anyone try it. This is really bizarre and criminal really. It looks brilliant! Pete said the top moves were some of the best on the crag. I guess Melanchollie is most people's preferred choice. I'd love to give it a go sometime. Jordan Buys has been in Wales over the weekend. I've always admired Jordan's enthusiasm. He just wants to go everywhere and climb everything, no matter how esoteric. He's another one who is doing good things on Rainshadow, good to see the boys trying to step it up. He went to Dyserth Waterfall yesterday and had a go on The Hole Truth, my route from last year. I sent him a message to get his verdict and he replied: "dirty, reachy and sharp but i liked it". My sentiments exactly i thought, this route is meat. He's keen to go back to finish it and Madness Reigns 8a.

Colddddddddddddddd

I've just got in from the Cave. It was freezing, wet and windy like a true winter day and i couldn't get going at all. Caff was keen to hit LPT this morning and said he'd be in the Cave at 8.30 but when the forecast is that bad i struggle to be as optimistic as Caff. With talk of misplaced jet streams and cold predictions for May it doesn't feel like sport season despite everyone's efforts to get out there. I've had a couple more sessions on Walking Mussel but the temps really aren't helping with it being a bouldery route. For me it's imperative to have warm fingers on the crux pinch but obviously when you're climbing with someone else and they need a decent go on their route it's very easy to cool down. I need to go at least every 20 minutes so i either need to employ my own personal belayer or climb with someone else who is also redpointing. When it hits 10 degrees i usually abandon sport climbing for the year but because it's April i'm trying to get on with it. The first session was quite good and i really should have done the crux on the last go. Last Friday i went to Malham with Pete and Owen. They were keen for Obsession and i thought i'd try and tick it too but i felt awful warming up. I sketched up Rose Coronary, a very shortlived 7a and then we headed up to the upper tier. There was a bit of a queue for Obsession so i got on Toadall Recall, a route i had tried a few times over the years. It's better to fail on a 8a than a 7b+ i figured! Despite it being soft 8a i'd always struggled so i was surprised to fall just after the crux first redpoint. I knew i only had one more go. I find those routes so hard on the skin, they don't cut they bruise and it's soon too painful. Anyway i got through all the hard climbing next go but completely powered out and had to hang there and hope i'd get something back. I did and clawed my way to the top, a real fight but nice to get something done. Pete ticked Obsession which was his objective and another 7b+ for his pyramid. The tides are good but i'm working so won't be able to get down, balls!

Louis Hamer

The Hamer bros were back on the Orme on Friday after a couple of year absence. The boy's used to be regulars as Sam was at Bangor uni. Ed did most things up to Font 8a+ on the Orme and Sam did lots of the routes including the tough 8b Melanchollie. Anyway Ed busted out Louis Armstrong, the 'short' 8b of Parisellas. This is obviously impressive but the time he did it in is the big news. This has been managed in a couple of days before by world class monsters Ty Landman, Micky Page and Nacho Sanchez (can't remember how long it took Malc, think slightly longer). I know Ty got in in 2 when he was beasting everything. I think it might have been 3 days for Micky?? Anyway bearing in mind that Ed had only been on it for 20 minutes 2 years ago this could be the quickest ascent and shows he can mingle with the top dogs. Consolodation seems to be Ed's approach to progression. He's been knocking on 8a+ boulder problems and 8b+ routes for years but if you've witnessed his beastliness you will know that this is only the begining. Sam ticked off the classic Masterclass 8a. Caff did Masterplan last week utilising a very very dirty hold to overcome the reachy crux. He got it 2nd RP. I've had 2 more days on Walking Mussel,on Tuesday i finally got my head round the crack. It's actually ok when you figure out the feet and after cursing it on the previous session i now think it's a pretty cool finish to the route. The key for me was to stand on a smear instead of the obvious jug. I almost linked from the crux to the lower off but i made a mistake after the hard bit on the crack. I wasn't too pumped and it gave me the confidence to start redpoints. On Saturday the crack was wet but i had two goes from the ground anyway. The 2nd go i tickled the undercut, hopefully i'll get the hold soon and then who knows how high i'll get. I'm struggling with having decent rests between goes becuase its still pretty cold and my fingers just cool down. This is bad news, i shouldn't be pulling on the crux pinch with cold fingers, it's dangerous. Hopefully it'll warm up soon. My form feels a bit confusing at the moment. I'm climbing pretty well in the Cave and on WM but i wouldn't say i feel anything special. I haven't had that light springy feeling for ages, i guess it suggest's theres more to come. Not a bad place to be i'd say. Pete checking out The Big Crunch:

Walking Muss, Day 4

Yesterday conditions were prime downstairs. The crag was packed with sport chuffers, it felt like the first proper weekend of the season. Fatty bum bum, man of the moment Alex Barrows had come over to try Walking Mussel and was on it again as we got down there. It was good to try it with someone else but it got quite tiresome having to constantly remind him that he was in Wales not Spain every time he complained about the moves being hard. It was worth him coming though as he told me to put 4 fingers on the crux hold instead of 3. The rock was so mint, i felt the best yet on the moves despite a poor warm up in the Cave. Second go up i just climbed from the floor and got to my crux which felt good. It was crunch time, however if i wanted to do this route i couldn't hide anymore, i had to try THE CRACK!!! So i pulled up the clipstick and tape and got involved. I had a vague sequence from last year but it felt too hard, eventually i worked out you have to stand on the smears instead of the jug and it started to come together. I very much doubt any of the previous ascentionists (Moon, Carson, Robins, Caff, Bransby, Dyer) fell off the crack but for me it is pretty much guaranteed. I'm going to need a fair few beans left to top out and it's only April and i've only done 7 routes! Serious stamina training needed! On the positive side the crack will only get easier the more you do it and at least it's the kind of thing you can fight on. Boy will i be fighting.
W Muss:


Keith topping out on Battle of the Parasites 7c+:


I was in Vegas today so i popped up to Waterfall for a look. I spent so many days there last year it was nice to be back. I wish someone would go and try the hard one! I want an opinion. Part of the cracked break on Meatsville Arizona has parted company with the crag but i think think it makes much difference

Back to the Dull

I've got 2 new routes lined up for this year. I bolted both of them last year but didn't get chance to put much effort into them. One of them is a link up in the Main Cave at Llanddulas. I love going up to Dulas, there are no tidal or access considerations, it's a nice spot and it feels like a second home away from the Orme. I've seiged a new route in the main cave for the past two years and both routes were really fulfilling. The climbing is really funky and 3D, there's not much like it in North Wales. Last year i was up there with Ben Heason and he spotted the potential for linking up the two roof routes via an unclimbed horizontal section which looked like it might just have enough holds. One of the last things i did on a rope was to stick four bolts in the new section. I had a quick play with Pete R one day and was keen to return with fresh endeavour come the new year. I've been doing quite a bit in Parisellas recently and as i was feeling quite good in there i thought it was a good time to get back on the Dulas proj and try and work out the new section. I went up with Mules yesterday and clipsticked straight up to the start of the new climbing. I'd already done the first hard move last year but this time it felt pretty tough. I just about managed it and let Mule have a go, he thought it was pretty hard too. A bit disgruntled that the move didn't feel easier i pushed on hoping to crack the next moves. In the middle of the roof is a lovely slopey pod, getting it was the move that i'd struggled on but moving off it felt equally tricky, and then so did the next section. I had to remind myself that the first sessions on Temple and the Last Crusade were equally fruitless but then i just don't think there is as much potential for easier beta on this section of the roof. It's not just that the middle section is so tricky. You have to do 9 steep moves on the Last Crusade to get into it and when you reach Temple you have the redpoint crux of that to contend with. It's a meaty, inspiring piece of climbing. My best case scenario was that it would weigh in at soft 8b+ and i could complete it in time for the guide. After trying it again it feels significantly more meaty than any 8b+ i've been on. I tried Darwin Dixit in Margalef a few years ago, this is 8b+ (used to be 8c) and is also a roof. On this route every hold is a jug, they're just spaced apart. I think the Dulas thing might be 8c, i'm definitely not giving it away though, it's pretty inspiring and i live for inspiration.
Me and Mule finished off with some mileage. We're both so unfit, oh to be a stam jock. Mule was going to go up Tony Stud but noticed that someone has nicked the hanger off the one expansion bolt on the route. It really does make me despair how rock climbers would steal shitty little bits of metal off a rock climb. It's also been happening in Dyserth and Penmaenhead. If i ever see someone nicking insitu protection i'm going to steal there address from their wallet, go to their house and drive a iron stake up their wifes arse. Cunts!