Thank You Rock Climbing!

In a previous post i talked about psyche problems that i've been having recently. Throughout my climbing life i've felt inspired and driven and if you read this blog you will know that climbing rocks is a big part of my life. When the inspiration left things weren't good. I've had some traumatic problems with the missus also which has added to things greatly. I think usually you climb best when your in a good place and your happy. Relationship problems felt like the final nail in the coffin for me. I couldn't really be bothered climbing but i knew that my climbing life had been building up to this Diamond route for years and i would regret it if i didn't give it everything even if i didn't feel like it. With the tide in and having no motivation for the Mill i headed to the peak with Mule to get on a very dry, re-bolted and chalked Cheedale cornice. I was well and truly going through the motions. I felt weak on the stuff i tried and seemed incapable of trying hard. I couldn't get high enough up anything to get a significant pump so in terms of Diamond training it was a waste of time. Doom and gloom! The final thing i did was go bolt to bolt on Nemesis which i really enjoyed. What a route that is!
Ben on Nemesis (he did it the next day)

I headed back to Wales for the next tidal window but i was actually dreading getting down there. I'd hardly climbed for over a week and after the last session being good i couldn't afford to go backwards. This would of screwed my head up even more. I wasn't sure how i'd climb on the route, surely i was in to much emotional turmoil to perform. I set off and soon found myself at the crux, i really wanted to get through this first go to help my confidence. I crushed the holds and soon found myself at the flatty just shy of where i fell last time. This time things were different, i felt stronger here than i ever had before and i knew this could be a good go. I powered through the big move that had stopped me last time and fell on the high redpoint crux. Yes! Back to last years highpoint. 7 moves to go. Last year i only had it in me to get to the RP crux once a session so i was surprised to find myself there again on the next two goes. The last go was actually the best and i had some strength left-was inches from the hold. All my worries evaporated momentarily. Usually i would be so desperate to do well and try and do the route i would create nerves and pressure for myself which would often adversly affect my climbing. Today i climbed unencumbered with nerves and pressure and it was one of the best i've ever felt on the rock. I hardly put a foot wrong in 3 redpoints and the endorpins really made me feel better. I think the climbing lifestyle i've lived for the majority of my 20s may be coming to an end but i know i'll always be a climber. Such a special sport, thank you rock climbing!