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Wednesday, 30 April 2008


I've posted this shot of Last Rites Assis cos i wanted keith to see me crushing a pinch. Ok its not General Dissaray but its not bad for me. Resting today.

Tuesday, 29 April 2008

Another lonely day on the Box.

Wasn't sure whether to climb today as i've had 3 days on. Skin was hurting a bit and my muscles ached so i headed to the orme! Hock, Ian and Chris Davies were in the cave so i did a bit. Kinda did Trigger (had a bit of a power spot if i'm honest) so thats good for HH. After a bit of banter and watching the big guns i exited stage left to the box for another lonely session. Yesterday i did the last move of Last Rites Assis 3 times but was two powered out to get the last hold. Anyway today i crushed first go, think its cos i had no spotter and got scared. Gonna do it from Malteser next, very excited about this link, will be ace, no easy moves!

Sunday, 27 April 2008

Vids n Stuff

Here is dyer crushing Silk Cut

Here is Donkey fighting Trev

Have been getting out last few days. Trying the sitter to last rites, today was damp though so tried a proj at Normans wisdom. Have met old timers Paul Craven and John Welford on the orme this week. they did alright crushing RA and john crushed LF.

Your Sunday Sermon - Anyone for a Nosh?

This week i am handing the Sunday sermon over to Reverend Ronnie O Suliivan. Enjoy:

Friday, 25 April 2008


8b is so very hard however it is my belief that most 8a/+ punters have an 8b with their name on it. I always thought mine was In Heaven in the cave til the new beta was found and Pete did it. So since that moment my mind has been wondering about other potential 8b ticks. It has to be long preferably 20 moves and it has to be near home. Well i think i have found a perfect candidate. I think the linkage of Jack The Drunk into Last Rites would constitute an 8b power endurance rock climb and so now this is my long term goal. One thing is for sure, i will need to go up another level to achieve this.
Yesterday i was out with Muley and Monolith. We headed to the Gop where i once again understood the meaning of the word hardcore. This place is just that. Still not close to Push the Button first move. Tried some other projects which were hard and involved shitty holds in a roof with shitty feet. The crag even made the Mule feel weak and he repeated Push the Button!!! Anyway i'm not going back till my finger strength and body tension has increased. We went the Cave where we all did a bit. I tried In Hell again tickled the jug on RA again (frustrating) then later did RA. Went to the box to try the sitter to Last Rites. After working it out i dropped the last move twice- very good!

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

Ding Dong crushes the fuck out of Directors and keeps going!

Yeah its true, that mild mannered labouring man has crushed Directors. And then he had the audacity to keep on goin up bloody upper cut. This is 8b+ and an outstanding achievement. He said this was his desert island problem and he was right. Watching him on it reminded me of when i saw Zangeryl on Never Ending Story at the magic grades. He even takes the swing on Halfway like a true man should, with consummate ease- incredible.

Yesterday i went to the mountains with Hock Jack and Ian. After watching them in the pit, we went to the Pen where it was too hot n greasy. I was shit too. Hock has just done an 8a variant on Jerry's Problem and has a really sick looking project to the left which will be mega hard if he does it.
Jerrys left:

Monday, 21 April 2008

FA Bonanza

Rare day today.Did a new route AND a new problem. Me n the dog went to me old mans crag and i got pumped doing a new 6c called Fathers4Justice, pic below

Then we went the orme. Mule tried Greenheart (he was a bit pumped after toproping fathers4justice). Then we went the box and i tried the project right of last orders, i've tried this a few times before trying the find the beta. The problematic part seemd to be the last move which is centered around a god awful small hold worryingly close to the box. After getting to the last move a few times i roped in the dog to give me a spot and Last Rites 7b+ (ish) was born. I graded it 7b+ cos i don't think a 7b climber could use the crimp and also because its a slightly worrying problem. A man could impale himself on the box and need his last rites read to him. Anyway the sitter will be mega as will the link from Malteser, i'm excited!

Sunday, 20 April 2008

Sunday Sermon- GO DOWN

Still haven't got the hang of this blogging lark. The Sunday Sermon is a couple of posts down so scrowl down! I'm too lazy to rectify it!

Saturday, 19 April 2008

In Heaven

Pete did my ultimate Cave project today. 8a+. Some you win some you lose. I did Lip Service from the low at 7b+, quite spicey. Thats all

Friday, 18 April 2008


hello i'm going to start by clarifying what i meant when i said i haven't climbed 8a bloc cos people seem to be confused. The 8a problems that i have done are all at least 20 moves. True bouldering is about short, hard and nasty moves. I haven't yet accomplished an 8a of this style. This is what i want to do. Thinking about it Halfway House isn't one if these (ten moves) but Push the Button is- and its soft and its close to my house so no more excuses.
Went the Cave today with the dog. just to prove that i'm better looking heres a pic:

Ended up trying Halfway and did Tommy's problem Lip Service 7a+ which i've always thought was a bit nasty until today when i found a nicer foot sequence. Want to do this from the low start now. Its nice to try something a bit easier for a change. helps you get fit too. Ding Dong tickled the shothole a few times on Director's- he'll do it soon. What a fuckin machine he is! Anyway its everyones favourite time on the blog- LAD SHOTS!:

Thursday, 17 April 2008

Your Sunday Sermon-Heroes

We all need them and most of us have them. Heroes are very important people. They are role models to the rest of us. They teach us how to behave and present ourselves and most importantly they inspire us. Being a rock climbing enthusiast most of my heroes are rock climbers. Below are some men who hopefully should inspire us all.

Johnny- the ultimate hero. What this man has pulled on should inspire us all. Coins on overhangs are his speciality but never pidegeon hole this man- he can turn his hand to all aspects of rock climbing. Sent by the lord himself to put up the hardest boulder problems on earth and to execute the hardest moves. Anyman who spends 100 days on something as rubbish as Il Pirata must be respected. He climbs things for one reason - because they inspire him.

Sharma- Only the sexiest man in the world. The moffatt of his generation. Sharma steps in at the right time and makes landmark ascents. His legacy is secure.

Graham - A one man ticking machine. Probably not the strongest cat out there these days (landman, woods, robinson could all well have more in the tank). Graham has been travelling the globe since about 2001 and his ticklist takes some beating. A man who shuns the rest day, he lives to climb.

Moon and Moffatt - These two were the main players in the early 90s and pushed standards up with landmark ascents and proper grades. Very sexual creatures. Moonys still goin strong now!

Simpson- Showed what could be achieved with olympic style training and the will to succeed. This man proved that hard work does pay off. Incredibly powerful.

Liam and mickey- two less known faces but i find the attitude of these two youngsters quite inspiring. When i saw liam crush Clyde then take 8a for it i was impressed. Mickey shuns the limelight even though he has become the first British man to achieve 8b+ in the forest of Fontainbleau- a marvellous achievement.

Wednesday, 16 April 2008


Went to the Cave y day to meet Master Heason. There was a possee of hardcore rock jocks there so it would have been rude not to have done a bit. Finger didn't hurt so i threw a few shapes. Felt good after two days off! Almost crushed Trigger Cut. I know i can do halfway house this year now. 8a bloc could become a reality- this would be a dream come true! After we went to teh Cattells gig in Denbigh and the boys rocked the place - well good. Nipping down the Mwyn today with Ben then i'm off to Brum to visit Simpson. I haven't sampled Birmingham nightlife so should be interesting!

Monday, 14 April 2008


I have an infection in my finger so must rest. This is a disaster but i don't want to have my finger amputated. Plus the rest will probably do me some good cos i've been going at it like a dog with six.

Saturday, 12 April 2008

Your Sunday Sermon - Persistence = Winners

Happy sunday to you all. This weeks sermon is based on a little mantra i have, persistence = winners. I believe that in life and in rock climbing a man must have the attitude that giving up is a failure. In the case of rock climbing there is never a need to give up. Ok having a break from a particular problem or route is fine, this is essential in some cases but total capitulation is never necessary. A good seige puts hairs on your chest (ok 2 in my case). I believe a man will never get the most out of his rock climbing until he has engaged in a protracted seige. My longest seige took place on a little piece of rock known as Drink Driving, situated on the Pill Box Wall of the Marine Drive this problem took me to hell and back. I went through some dark days when i could barely string two moves together. However i kept goin back and eventually cracked the fucker. That experience taught me a lot. I know now that within reason i can climb anything if i really want too, it is simply a matter of time and effort.

When a girl (like they do) dumps you or starts ignoring you do not be downbeat. The old saying is true, there are plenty more fish in the sea. Persist and you will emerge victorious, it is ineveitable, get back on the horse and keep riding. Those with a dream must persist. You never know whats around the corner. So go forth into the world my children and take with you the lesson you have learned today. Amen

Full Mwyn

went down the mwyn today with si panton, dyer and mule and danny. Met Holger the German when i got there who informed me he had done the full mwyn traverse from the sit start of Thug mentality right to the end of firestarter, a great achievement rating a pumpy 8a, especially now Mental Extension has got harder due to broken holds. i got warm and did 3 7a+s, firestarter with left finish, right hand problem into firestarter with left finish and Gasoline stand. Almost did gasoline from the sit too. dan repeated Mules under pressure/be ruthless link with a slightly easier sequence. In fact he did it twice so it looks like its 8a now. ding dong was trying various things and panton got a few ticks. Much banter was had about mules grading which was fun. Mule tried to get going but cut his finger, not his day. Wen to show Dyer and Panton the gop, they were suitably impressed. Me an Dan had a quick sesh, he tried to reclimb blokesmoker low now the foots gone, looks like its 8a+. I tried Push the button again, did the second move with a new hold (YES) but no joy on the first move yet. I can do it though and its great. Meeting a pretty air hostess tomorrow. Its a hard life!

Wednesday, 9 April 2008


Saw a man fall off the last move of a very hard project today. Then i went to (yes you've guessed it) the Cave where i felt like a broken man. Did some training in the end, RA and some other stuff. I'm off to Liverpool now to get hideously drunk.

Tuesday, 8 April 2008


Crushed undecut move and worked out how to climb into it. Did slap on East Coker. Slapped jug on RA from In Life. Got into Trigger from Halfway House. And then i was tired. So many projects... I love to climb.

Monday, 7 April 2008

Sunday, 6 April 2008

Todays Revolution

Today was a significant day in the cave. I realised as soon as i pulled up that conditions were mint. Almost completely boners - excellent! After warming up i tried Halfway House with Dave Buchanan. I got the crimp on trigger and got my leg up - very happy. Then what happened next was to change my life forever. Neil Dyer rang me up to inform me that the day before Pete Robbins had worked out a new sequence on In Life start and had made it to the left wall with the intention of finishing up left wall high. Now this is my ultimate Cave project and i wasn't best pleased to find out someone else was going to do it. So i went down into the shit and started working out the new sequence. I had actually spent a day trying it like this not long ago but couldn't work out how to get into the flake. Well the beta fell thick and fast today. With some heels and heel toe jams i was almost there. It turned out i had found an even easier sequence than Pete. Me and Sorle worked it, i got close, slapping the flake (quite height dependent). So instead of the start being a Font 8a it is now probably a hard 7c, still tricky but a lot less powerful. More my scene. So the race is on and may the best man win (i suspect this will be Pete). Even if he does it i'll still be keen to repeat it. But what of the grades i hear you say? Before In Hell and In Life were an 8a into a tricky 7c. Now i'd say this makes for a pretty spicey 8a+. With the new beta its more like a 7c/+ into a hard 7c. So in my opinion In Hell and In Life are now soft 8a+ and the project is a hard 8a+ (this would have been 8b with the old beta). In Life and In hell are still harder than Cave Life and Pit of (not easy 8as) so probably still warrant 8a+. Whatever the new sequence is really fuckin cool! Will get some pics or vid soon.
In life start the old way (you now take the visible sloper with the other hand):

Your Sunday Sermon - An Appeal!

I would like to take the opportunity in this weeks Sunday Sermon to appeal to the good natured folk of the United Kingdom and to ask them to stop excreting in areas that people rock climb in. I don't care if your monthly walk has resulted in a few bowel movements. If your walking along the marine drive and you need a crap, go over the wall. Please do not go in the Pill Box you dirty bastards. It is not a toilet it is a place of great historical significance. I do not want the stench of shite wafting up into my nose when i'm on the crux of the full link up. Thank you.

Saturday, 5 April 2008


Took Jordan and Naomi to the Mwyn today. Jordan had a good day yesterday, he ticked Manchester Dogs, Caveman Low and Weirdo. I waited to see if he could turn on the magic at the Mwyn. He struggled with Gasoline but eventually ticked it. Then we found some much needed heels on Sparks. I did all the moves and Jordan linked it. This was really good for me although the last move is still a bit of a pisser. After that he flashed Be Ruthless and almost flashed the long Mental Thug 7c+ falling off the last move. So not a bad few days for the Lancashire raider. Then Mule and danny turned up, Mule was looking strong. Lets just say that history could be made soon......

Friday, 4 April 2008

Thursday, 3 April 2008


me, danny and mule headed to the orme today to find it in a terrible state. temperature inversion met it was sacked. So we headed to Little Orme, i fancied another crack at the low start to caveman which Danny did recently and i had had a few sessions on. Immediately felt stronger on it and with a bit of trickery and body postioning it was in the bag. A great problem which is somewhere round the 7c/7c+ area. After went to the gop which seemed knackered on first aquaintance. Got me towel out n tried Push the Button, mules 8a. Felt very close to doing the first move which is the crux, so cool. The Cattells are visionaries!

Me celebrating:

Tuesday, 1 April 2008

Be Ruthless

You have to be at the mwyn. Me, Dan, Mule dog and Katzy went down to check out the conditions today and have a sesh.Katz was resting for the cave. Danny repeated Mules awesome Yellow Finish confirming the grade at hard 7c+. He also repeated Gasoline Direct with an easier sequence, 7b now. Was hard the way Mick did it though. I used the same sequence to climb into Firestarter at 7a+:

I also fumbled the last move of Be Ruthless cos i thought i was gonna do it and was shocked, this is a real bogey problem for me so will be going back! The mwyn is so god damn powerful it really is. Still can't even do sparks from a stand up. mule had a good burn on his proj, well impressive. Quote of the day came from Katz: "Sort your barnet out and crush the fucker!". Genius i couldn't have said it better myself!