Your Sunday Sermon - Issues of the Road!

Road Rage:




In a break from the traditional Sunday Sermon this week we shall look at issues of the road and driving rather than rock climbing. I want to start by saying road rage is not big or clever and that any rage that you feel from a driving scenario should remain within the motor car. DO NOT bludgeon an old dear to death with a crowbar. This, my children will result in an eternal afterlife in hell and damnation.
SPEED:
One of the things that gets my goose cooking out on the roads of Great Britain is the inhability of many people to drive AT THE SPEED LIMIT. Doing 40 or 50 in a 60 zone in good driving conditions is just plain inconsiderate. Think of the person stuck behind you trying to get on with his life – wasting valuable minutes of his life just because you can’t be arsed putting your foot down. And why do people sit in the middle lane or the fast lane on motorways, forcing everyone else to make dangerous undertaking manoeuvres. Why not just pull into the slow lane and let everyone past. Just cos you sit in the slow lane doesn’t mean you’ve got a micro does it! And if I happen to be driving round the marine drive trying to get home please pull over and let me past. No one wants a biggie up there sphincter.
ROAD MANOEUVRES:
Why stop at a roundabout if there’s nothing coming. There is just no need, just slip her into 2nd or 3rd and keep going, its better and more efficient for you car. And why spend an age turning, just turn you berks, its not hard, signal, and turn the steering wheel in a quicker fashion.
TRAFFIC COPS:
Are tits, end of…
ROAD WORKS
Ok so we have a situation in this country where there are far too many cars on the road. As my old pal spidey would say: “Too many rats not enough cheese”. Gridlock Britain is costing businesses about £20 billion a year as productivity is hit by staff arriving late to work. So what does the government and the councils do to ease this congestion. Well they dig up the roads just so everyone goes even slower causing even more congestion. Call me cynical but isn’t this just a ploy to keep unemployment down (a la Hitler in the 1930s). Surely our roads don’t need digging up every five minutes. Ok fair do’s some of the work is for road widening schemes that may in future reduce congestion but a lot of it is pointless. So my children go forth into your motor cars and remember the lessons you have learned today.

Typical chaos on a British road, arseholes and idiots!